


Back at One

by mindmyownbznz



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Can be considered as a sequel for Fools, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Junbobficsparty2020, Light smut?, M/M, Or not, junbob, maybe? - Freeform, you don't have to read Fools to get it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:40:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindmyownbznz/pseuds/mindmyownbznz
Summary: "I was just wondering, if you could redo something at some point in your past, would you?"When Jiwon asked him that about their relationship, Junhoe wasn't really sure what he meant. It's true, they didn't exactly start on the best of terms, and there were some moments in the past that Junhoe wished he could erase and rewind. But what should he expect when Jiwon proposed for them to start everything over from the very beginning?
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 14
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Third entry for #JunbobFicsParty2020, for Prompt #88 "Hey cutie, are you single?" "Jiwon, we've been dating for a year."  
> OST: Brian McKnight - Back at One
> 
> This is the prompt that I didn't plan to take but was too tempting not to take. This will be a (hopefully) short multichapters fic, 5 chapters at most. I wrote the first chapter with [Fools](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17799089) in mind, or a universe after that story happened. You don't have to read Fools to understand what's going on in this story, though.  
> Since I'm writing another multichap along with this one, next updates might take time, so I hope you guys are patient enough to wait. 😆  
> Okay then, I should cut this notes short. I hope you enjoy this story!

When Jiwon first asked the question, Junhoe was in the middle of going through a bunch of movie selections on Netflix, struggling with some of the English titles, so at first he didn't quite catch what Bobby was saying. He responded with a vague, "Huh?" and continued contemplating whether it was a Tenki no Ko or a Kill Bill kind of night. Last week it had already been one of Quentin Tarantino's, so maybe tonight it ought to be something less violent and bloody...

Then, Jiwon spoke again, "Baby, did you hear me? I asked if you remembered when we first started dating."

That successfully drew Junhoe's attention. Feeling an uncomfortable thud occurring in his chest, he set the laptop aside, forgoing the movie selections list, and slid up the bed to where Jiwon was leaning against the headboard. He sat facing his lover, anxiously wondering about what had brought this up.

"Is that a trick question? Because you know damn well I'm not going to get the exact date right," he joked about his inability to remember dates and birthdays and sometimes even schedules, and then quickly added, "But it was around Christmas, wasn't it? Because I remember we had a concert earlier that day and Jinhwan was wearing a sexy Santa costume."

Junhoe watched Jiwon's eyebrows slant and his eyes turn into crescents as he laughed. It was his adorable squeaky laugh, the kind that always made him scrunch his nose up in a true bunny fashion, so Junhoe dared to think that, whatever had prompted this topic, was not anything too serious.

"Out of everything that took place that day, you remember Jinhwan's costume the most?" Jiwon said, still lightly laughing. "But I can't blame you. That short red skirt was really scandalous."

Junhoe slid up the bed and sat beside Jiwon, smiling when the older leaned his head on his shoulder. The smile shifted into a lip bitten between teeth as he felt Jiwon pressing soft kisses against the side of his neck. His eyes fluttered close as Jiwon's left hand ran across his stomach and slipped under his t-shirt, the coolness of Jiwon's palm made him shiver.

Maybe it wasn't a Netflix kind of night, after all. To be honest, Junhoe wouldn't mind skipping the movie watching part and going straight to the main course.

Before Junhoe could follow his urge to turn his head and welcome Jiwon's lips with his own, Jiwon pulled away just slightly, leaving a few inches between them. In those few inches Junhoe could see the wistful look both in Jiwon's eyes and the half smile he had on his lips. Obviously, the topic was not yet let go and forgotten.

Junhoe looked at Jiwon, at how the rapper licked his lips thoughtfully. His heart sped up, inevitably.

"I've just been thinking," Jiwon began speaking. "We didn't exactly start out very nicely, did we? I mean, I was actually really angry at you before things took a different turn."

The memory of that night, of him standing miserably in the middle of a hallway in a hotel in Japan, while Jiwon revealing how hurt and disappointed he had been of Junhoe, popped up in his mind. It seemed like ages ago, a time when he hadn't known better, a time when he had taken people's feelings, including his own, for granted. He knew now that there was no need for regret, not when he was here with Jiwon and they were happy together. But Jiwon must have a reason why he was bringing this up now, and Junhoe wanted to know what it was.

"I was such an idiot," Junhoe mumbled, leaning back beside Jiwon. "I was too scared of everything unknown that I couldn't appreciate what was right in front of me."

Jiwon approached him and pressed his lips softly against his own. Junhoe smiled into the kiss.

"I was no less stupid, Junhoe," Jiwon said, lips still clinging to Junhoe's. "We could have talked it out like decent adults, but I got too emotional."

They kissed again, deeper and sweeter this time, with Jiwon's hand rubbing soft circles on his waist, and Junhoe could hardly think about anything else, definitely not about those sad, self-pitying days when he hadn't known how wonderful it was to be in love. He unconsciously clutched onto Jiwon's tanktop. Jiwon's heartbeat seemed to be so close, beating so hard against his hands.

When Jiwon led him to sit on his lap, Junhoe did so without complaint. It came almost naturally now, the gravity between them, the instinct to touch. But he recalled moments in the past when the smallest physical contact between them would have sent him running as fast as he could, because he hadn't found a way to recognize the exploding emotions inside of him as anything other than fear and doubt.

"Junhoe, Love," Jiwon whispered, breath picking up pace, huffing against Junhoe's mouth. "Don't you ever wish you could rewind and do things differently?"

Junhoe pulled back, confused. "What? Do what things differently?"

"Don't look so scared," Jiwon grinned softly. "I was just wondering, if you could redo something at some point in your past, would you?"

"Maybe, I don't know. Thinking about the bad things I did in the past makes me feel horrible, so I tend to not do that," Junhoe responded after a few moments. "But what's with these random thoughts all of a sudden, Hyung?"

While he did say he didn't like looking back into the past, Jiwon's words brought him to some of the regret he thought he had tossed aside, which included every single moment he ran away from Jiwon's spark of affection for him. He frowned. Was Jiwon going through some flashbacks now, or was he reconsidering the course of their relationship? Junhoe wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

"Baby, you're frowning," Jiwon rubbed his thumb on Junhoe's forehead, brushing some hair strands aside. And then he grabbed Junhoe's hand loosely, lips curving into a small smile. "Listen, I have a suggestion to make. I need you to hear me out first. If, at the end, you don't like it, or if you think it's stupid or useless, you can just tell me and I won't mention it ever again."

That uncomfortable thud in his chest returned, but Junhoe bit his lip and sat up straight, nodding for Jiwon to carry on. It comforted him, though, that Jiwon was still holding his hand.

"As I was saying, the two of us didn't start dating in the nicest way," Jiwon said. "To say that it was a rocky start might even be an understatement. I was too hasty in expressing what I felt for you, and you were too emotionally inexperienced to understand your own feelings. No, please don't pout, you know I'm telling the truth."

Junhoe eased his pout and bit his lip instead. What Jiwon said was the truth, he couldn't deny it even if he wanted to. It just felt awful to be reminded of what a terrible person he had been back then.

"With that in mind," Jiwon took a deep breath, paused, and then continued, "I propose we break up."

Something in Junhoe's chest seemed to stop beating that very instant. His entire body felt like it ceased functioning.

"... What?" he asked weakly, his hand pulling away from Jiwon out of shock.

"No, no, no, not a real break up, Baby, it's not like that!" Jiwon quickly said, grabbing Junhoe's hand again. "What I meant was, let's pretend we haven't started dating. I want to do everything over from the very beginning. I want to know the process of getting close to you. I want to know what it's like to... to..."

"... to court me?" Junhoe finished Jiwon's sentence. His previously shocked heart was now beating irregularly, nervously. This really shouldn't be healthy for him.

Jiwon visibly blushed. His cheeks were pink under the pale white lamp light above their heads. And then he nodded.

"Something like that, yes," he confirmed. "I just think it would be wonderful if we could, you know, try that. If you agree, I'll do my best to, um, court you. Woo you. Get you the things you like. Take you out on a date. Confess to you. The whole ensemble. Properly, this time."

And now it was Junhoe's turn to blush. Maybe it was because he had never known what it was like to be approached by Jiwon the way other people would approach the person they liked. Maybe it was because of how nervous Jiwon looked in front of him. Either way, he couldn't say he wasn't intrigued.

The thought of Jiwon going through all the trouble to court him made Junhoe feel giddy for some reason. He had never really thought of himself as a romantic, always believing he was more of a practical, to-the-point kind of person. Now, though, with the way his heart was throbbing inside his chest, he might have to reconsider his own opinion.

"So," Jiwon opened his mouth again. "What do you say?"

"I'm..." Junhoe paused, mind still clouded with a little bit of doubt. "You're really suggesting we pretend we haven't been together for, well, months, and act like we just met? How am I supposed to do that? I'm not exactly a great actor, Hyung, everybody says that."

Jiwon grinned, bright and gorgeous. "True. That's gonna be a little bit of a problem. I can already see you laughing whenever I try to say or do anything," he said amiably. "But I'll do my best to make it believable. I'l make you fall so hard for me. I'll woo you off your feet!"

Jiwon cackled at the end of his words, probably just as cracked up by his own idea if not even more so than Junhoe was. Junhoe laughed along, amused by the spontaneity of his boyfriend. He paused at that thought. If he agreed to this bizarre idea, Jiwon would no longer be his boyfriend.

"I don't know what I'm getting myself into, honestly, I think this is a crazy idea," Junhoe sighed. "Okay. I agree. But can I back out if I ever feel like I can't do it?"

Jiwon squeezed Junhoe's hand that he was holding in his own, smiling gently before letting go of it. "Of course you can. Although, I assure you, there's really nothing to be worried about."

"Oh, okay then," Junhoe nodded, and then began sliding off of Jiwon's lap. He couldn't help but feel saddened that their plans tonight were canceled. If only Jiwon had brought the idea up after they had watched at least one movie, or after they had gotten some action happening...

"Where are you going?"

Junhoe lifted his eyes toward Jiwon, confused. "Um, back to my room, I guess? I mean, now that I'm not your boyfriend, won't it be weird if I stay here...?"

Jiwon's mouth cracked into a large grin, followed soon with a big laughter. And then, with one swift motion, he took a hold of the front of Junhoe's t-shirt and pulled hard. Junhoe fell right on top of Jiwon with an undignified huff, squirming involuntarily when he felt his crotch bumping against Jiwon's.

"What...?"

"Are you that eager to get rid of me?" Jiwon asked cheekily before he put his arms around Junhoe's back and pulled him even closer. His lips were warm against Junhoe's own lips, and his hands were even warmer on Junhoe's skin under his t-shirt. "We'll start tomorrow, Baby. Tonight I have other plans, and these plans are kind of urgent..."

Just what those plans were and how urgent they were, Junhoe had a very clear idea the moment Jiwon began kissing him deeply and desperately. The minutes passed along with articles of clothing getting thrown off and away, and as his entire body began feeling as if it was being lit like firecrackers, exploding outward from the deepest core, Junhoe forgot momentarily what was going to happen tomorrow. Tonight, he was Jiwon's and Jiwon was his, and they would be each other's until morning came.

**▪︎ TO BE CONTINUED ▪︎**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR THE HORRIBLY LONG WAIT. I know I suck at updating. And I know that I also suck at replying your comments! I read them, and every time I wanted to reply I froze not knowing what to say. So sorry for that. But thank you for your feedback, I always appreciate it although I don't express that enough.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

_I know we're just friends_   
_I know, we're practically family_   
_But why are you holding my hand, baby_   
_Making me confused_

_Maybe I was too stupid to notice you_   
_Or maybe I'm just one of your many fishes in the sea_   
_You confuse me_   
_You confuse me_

**Tendae - BOBBY**

▪︎▪︎▪︎

The morning schedule swept Junhoe off his feet before he could remember what day or what year it was. First, it was the photoshoot they all had to attend so very inhumanly early in the morning. Right after that was the fansign event that left Junhoe so drained he could barely focus on anything that was being talked about in their third appointment, which was a meeting at the head office. All he could remember throughout the meeting was their tour manager reminding them to bring extra masks because the weather seemed to be colder this December than usual.

It was a little after 7 p.m. when they finally returned to the dorm, Junhoe in particular feeling tired and sleepy, but most of all hungry. Forgoing the moral obligation to shower, he headed toward the kitchen to find something to munch before having an actual dinner. Just as he was entering the dining room, he found that someone else was already there. This someone seemed to be cooking something on the stove.

"Ji--I mean, Bobby-hyung," Junhoe greeted meekly, suddenly reminded of what they had talked about just the other night. He felt oddly nervous, not knowing how to act now in front of the older man. He also just realized that he hadn't talked to Jiwon all day long.

"Hi," Jiwon smiled. "You're starving too, huh?"

The first instinct Junhoe felt seeing that smile was to approach the rapper and to hug him, but he stopped himself before making a move.

This whole setting was already hurting his head although it hadn't even been an entire day since it began. How was he supposed to follow through Jiwon's plan? Not to mention the uncomfortable pang he felt at the thought that Jiwon was now technically not his boyfriend.

"Yeah," Junhoe answered the question before his own thoughts made him more anxious. "I thought I'd go find some snack before Jaeho-hyung comes with dinner."

"We've run out of snacks, unfortunately," Jiwon said. "But I'm cooking instant noodles. We can share, if you want?"

"O-okay, if that's not a bother."

Jiwon sent another smile his way and went back to his instant ramen, while Junhoe stood, shuffling his feet awkwardly on the spot. It felt a lot like deja vu. He knew he had experienced a similar happening before, back when the two of them hadn't gotten together. It was a few days after Jiwon expressed his anger toward him, and it was the night they had their first kiss.

With that particular memory playing in his mind, Junhoe couldn't help but blush. He had been an idiot, back then, helplessly incapable of interpreting his own feelings. Even after the kiss, which had left him feeling so distraught, he still hadn't been able to determine whether or not he liked Jiwon as more than a friend and a colleague.

He decided not to dwell on the thought, the past is in the past anyway, and busied himself with setting up bowls, chopsticks and spoons on the table. Jiwon finished cooking and brought the pan containing the piping hot ramen to the table, placing it in the middle. He then sat down across the table.

"Come on, dig in while it's still hot," Jiwon waved his hand randomly toward the pan. Junhoe took his seat and grabbed his bowl and chopsticks.

The ramen that Jiwon cooked was good, extra good with the still runny egg on top. For a while, Junhoe allowed his hunger to take over and he slurped the noodles as if his life was depended on it. The warmth of the ramen slowly but surely eased his growling stomach. It tasted perfect after a long and tiresome day.

He was so focused on eating that when he heard Jiwon laugh, it surprised him quite a bit. He lifted his face from his bowl, blushing hard.

"Slow down or you're gonna choke," Jiwon laughed, eyes narrowing into crescents.

"Hohhy," Junhoe said unclearly, his cheeks full of chewed noodles. He swallowed, blushing even harder, and repeated, "Sorry. It's just, I'm really hungry, and this is really good."

"No need to say sorry," Jiwon replied. "I can cook more if you're still hungry."

Junhoe shook his head. "No, you don't have to. Jaeho-hyung will be home soon anyway."

Jiwon nodded his acknowledgement, and they went back to eating for a while. Junhoe, embarrassed about earlier, ate slower and more carefully. He even struggled not to make too much sound while slurping, which turned out to be harder than it seemed. It was also a struggle to not give in to this urge that kept pushing him to glance ahead toward Jiwon.

There was silence between them, save for the sounds of them eating, until finally there were only a few spoonfuls left of the broth inside the pan. It felt awkward, inevitably, and Junhoe couldn't help but feel like he ought to say something. But before he could, Jiwon beat him up to it.

"This reminds me a lot of our trainee days," he said in a wistful tone. "Do you remember? I used to cook ramen for everyone when we got hungry after practice."

Junhoe chuckled. "I remember. We had to share 5 packets of ramen between the 7 of us. Once or twice I got into a fight with Hanbin over the last strands of noodle."

"You two were incorrigible," Jiwon laughed along. "But I always felt the closest to you guys during those times."

"It was exciting," Junhoe agreed. "The training sessions were horrible, but the times we spent outside of the practice room were fun."

"Did you know, back then, I honestly thought you were an annoying kid."

Junhoe grinned, saying, "I know. You told me to just do whatever I wanted and leave you alone."

"Oh, God, I was the worst!" Jiwon cackled, nose scrunching adorably. "You overwhelmed me, I mean, from the second you walked in to the dorm, you were already asking me about every little thing like where to find the spoon or how to turn on the shower. I felt like I was suddenly in charge of a little kid and I had no idea what to do, so I told you to go away. I was such an idiot for treating you like that. I'm sorry, Junhoe."

The topic made Junhoe feel nostalgic. Memories flooded his mind, playing like a VCR skipping back and forth between one scene and the next. It felt like it was only yesterday that Junhoe was introduced to the Triple Kims, yet the memory of the days when he toiled like a dog in the practice room seemed like it had come from a completely different time and age.

His fingers toyed with the chopsticks while his mind wandered to a past not that far away. After listening to what Jiwon said, he couldn't help but recall that exact moment when Jiwon practically told him to buzz off. More than that, he recalled that sense of disappointment and apprehension that started to grow in him toward Jiwon, and it was like a sudden revelation appearing in his head.

"I wonder if that wasn't what made it awkward between us," he mused almost incomprehensibly, doubt heavy in his throat. "What drove me to create the distance between us."

Jiwon was quiet for a while, and the silence made Junhoe lift up his gaze to the older man. There was a look of apprehension clouding Jiwon's face. And maybe a hint of regret as well. Junhoe wished he could kiss it away, tell him it's okay, it didn't matter now, but he didn't know if that was allowed in their current setting.

"It could be, and I can't tell you how sorry I am," Jiwon spoke up after a moment, eyes meeting Junhoe's. "There's no point in wishing I could turn back time, because I can't. But I guess it's one of the reasons why I'm doing this. I wanted to know what it feels like to have a picture perfect start with you."

To know how it would have been had Junhoe not been too much of a coward. To know how it would have been had he known how to accept his own feelings when it had become clear before his eyes.

It sounded like a dream. A dream that Junhoe would love to see come true.

"Well, in that case," Junhoe grinned, extending his hand toward Jiwon. "Hi, my name is Koo Junhoe, I like singing and I'm currently learning to play guitar and writing songs. I like spicy food, taking a walk around the city and poetry and movies. Also, I may be weird sometimes but promise I won't bother you with too many questions, even when I'm in the bathroom and the shower malfunctions and I don't know what to do."

Jiwon stared at him with wide eyes and opened mouth for a few seconds, before he guffawed so loud the sound was probably heard all the way from Jinhwan and Donghyuk's rooms.

"Hi, nice to meet you, Junhoe-ssi," Jiwon took his hand and shook it warmly, a large grin remaining on his face. "I'm Jiwon, Kim Jiwon, stage name Bobby, I'm a rapper. You can call me Jiwon or Bobby, whichever is fine, and you can ask me anything, really, anything at all, I swear I won't get mad or even tell you to leave me alone. By the way, did anybody ever tell you you're cute? Because you damn well are, and if you don't have any plans tonight, would you like to watch a movie with me?"

Junhoe blushed so hard he knew it was visible from Jiwon's point of view, and it didn't help that at that exact moment, Jaeho entered the kitchen followed closely by Donghyuk. The two of them stood stiffly, Jaeho with a large plastic bag on each of his hand and Donghyuk with a dumbfounded look plastered all over his face, both of them staring at Junhoe and Jiwon.

"Um," Jaeho lifted his hands along with the plastic bags. "Samgyeopsal, anyone?"

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Junhoe found Jiwon had been waiting for him in the living room when he was exiting the bathroom. The older man was waving his hand merrily at him, inviting him to join him on the sofa. When Junhoe approached, he saw that Jiwon had prepared two cans of beer, a bunch of snacks, and he was holding the TV remote in his hand.

Junhoe stood in front of the sofa, wondering where he should sit down. On the floor? Or right next to Jiwon? Should he leave some space between them? He still didn't know what was acceptable and what was not in their current setting. Jiwon, on the other hand, looked rather happy. He was patting the spot next to him cheerfully, smiling so wide his eyes turned to crescents.

Junhoe sat down, trying not to be too conspicuous about keeping that safe distance between himself and Jiwon. Funny, he thought. He didn't expect he would ever need to mind this 'I can't sit too close to Jiwon or else I'll combust' mindset again, not after officially becoming Jiwon's lover.

"I thought you were joking, Hyung," Junhoe mumbled, reaching for his can of beer. He took a swig from it. It tasted wonderfully cold.

"I was totally serious!" Jiwon said, grinning, but then the grin subsided into a less cheerful, lopsided smile. "But honestly, did you know how many times I thought of asking you out on a date? Well, not even a date, I would have been completely happy if we had been able to go to the vendor down the street and shared a bowl of tteokbokki, just the two of us. I thought of a lot of ideas, but every single time, I froze at thought of approaching you and talking to you. Sad, huh?"

Junhoe bit his lower lip. What Jiwon said, he could completely relate to. After all, he also had spent more than enough time wondering if he would ever be able to get rid of his apprehension and go talk to Jiwon as easily as he talked to anyone else.

But, then again, he hadn't been crushing so hard on anyone else. That feeling he had but hadn't realized until much later most likely played a huge role in making it harder for him to approach Jiwon.

"I know we can't go to the movies, you know, fans and media and Hanbin's wrath and whatnot," Jiwon continued. "So this is probably the only way I can tick this goal off of my bucket list. There's not much to complain about the setting, though, right? I mean, you can relax and even lie down, and grab more beers from the fridge if you want. This is actually a million times better than going to the movies!"

While Junhoe pondered about this so called bucket list that Jiwon mentioned and how many things he might have included in it, the TV beeped and the screen turned bright. He turned toward it, watching as Jiwon scrolled through a few titles. After a short while, he clicked on one.

"Crayon Shinchan, Hyung? Really?" Junhoe snickered, but hoisted his legs up onto the sofa and settled onto a more comfortable position.

"What? It's hilarious!"

Junhoe didn't have anything against the Japanese cartoon. It was just a little unexpected, this being their 'date night', so to say. But he supposed he shouldn't be expecting this to be anything like their usual 'Netflix and chill' kind of night, especially because those nights tended to end with them frolicking the way that not-boyfriends weren't supposed to.

As it turned out, Junhoe really enjoyed watching the movie. He had a lot of laugh, and there wasn't a lot of thinking required to understand the story. It was relaxing, and after a long day, it was exactly what he needed.

He also couldn't help noticing how comfortable the atmosphere between him and Jiwon. Back before they got together, 'comfortable' had never been an adjective he would use to describe how he had felt when interacting or even simply being in a close proximity with Jiwon. A lot had happened since then, of course, and they had arrived to a place where everything was a whole lot better between them. But this, he thought, this moment right here was what he could have had had he dared to open his heart just a little bit to let all the possibilities in.

Sometimes close to midnight, Jinhwan walked out of his room, passed by the living room heading toward the kitchen. Junhoe saw him stopping in the middle of the hallway, hair sticking out in various directions, giving them confused, weird glare. He looked as if he half expected to catch them doing something inappropriate, but he couldn't find anything out of place, except that the two of them were giggling while watching a cartoon playing on TV. He probably didn't know what to make of that.

In the end, Jinhwan shrugged and continued on his path toward the kitchen. Junhoe didn't pay anymore attention to him, and only barely noticed the oldest walking back to his room.

A few moments later, Junhoe found himself yawning at the same time as the credits started rolling. He looked at the clock on the wall, just above the TV, and was slightly surprised it was 2 a.m. already. Time flew by when you were having fun.

"I can see why you like Shinchan so much, Hyung," he said, setting his beer can, which was now empty, at the table. "That was fun."

"The horror one I didn't pick was probably even more fun," Jiwon said, laughing, and then maybe, at the look Junhoe had on his face, he quickly continued, "Just kidding. But really, I'm glad you enjoyed the movie and, um, the date. If you'd like, we can do this again sometimes...?"

Maybe it was because of Jiwon's proposition, or maybe it was because the odd kind of comfort he felt in this rare situation. Whatever it was, it made Junhoe blush so hard he knew Jiwon noticed how red he became.

"Um, yeah, of course, it's, I, um," Junhoe cleared his throat. Why was it so hard just to talk? "I'd love to. I mean. You know. Watch movies with you."

Jiwon smiled so brightly Junhoe had to blink his eyes. The rapper was then mumbling, "Cool, great, awesome," while standing up from the sofa. Junhoe took that as a cue to stand up as well, quietly feeling sorry that the night was coming to an end.

They walked toward Junhoe's room, at least a meter of space between them. It was awkward, but not the unbearable kind of awkwardness that he used to feel whenever the two of them interacted. This was more like the nervousness he would feel back in his teenage days when he first experienced love, or something akin to it. The kind of nervousness that made him feel like he had firecrackers inside of him, and these firecrackers would burst, sending millions of sweet and spicy tiny explosions into his bloodstream, whenever he came too close to the person he was falling in love with.

It really did feel like he was walking home from his very first date and, as he stood by his door, his heart was beating insanely inside his chest. And those firecrackers he was thinking about was now sizzling under his skin, and they grew crazy the second he looked into Jiwon's eyes.

"So, um," Jiwon spoke, standing in front of Junhoe, hands in his pocket. "You had a good time, didn't you?"

Junhoe nodded. "I did, Hyung. Thank you."

"Thank goodness," Jiwon said, half huffing, half chuckling. He pulled out one hand out of his pocket and ruffled his own hair. "Would you like to, um, have dinner with me next time? It won't be lavish, you know, because I can't take you to a fancy restaurant or anything. But I'll try to get you whatever you want to eat, a whole box of hotbars probably, or tteokbokki, you like tteokbokki, and I'll find a place where it's the most comfortable for you, somewhere we won't be bothered I guess, and I'll bring candles if you want, and--"

"Yes," Junhoe giggled, imagining having a candle-lit dinner with Jiwon. "Yes, I would like to have dinner with you, and no, you don't have to bring candles, Hyung, really."

Five minutes later, Junhoe was already in his room, leaning back against the door he had just closed. Jiwon had said goodnight to him, no kisses, nothing. They didn't even hold hands. But still, Junhoe felt as if he was soaring high above the clouds. He was smiling from ear to ear with his heart beating so hard in his throat.

He was happy, extraordinarily so, and he couldn't wait until their next date. 

**▪︎ TO BE CONTINUED ▪︎**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I planned to update tomorrow (at work, LMAO) but someone motivated(?) me to go grab my laptop now and update. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.  
> In this chapter, there is a reference to [Fools chapter 3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17799089/chapters/42539783) in the beginning, which you can read if you haven't, just to give it context. But it's fine if you don't want to read that first! I think you can still understand what's going on in this chapter.  
> Also, if you have no idea which performance I am referring to in this chapter, it is during their concert at Kyocera Dome, Osaka, December 2018 (video [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfPm2ncGRDY&t=34s) credits to Qmulonimbus 8797).  
> Enjoy! And hopefully I can get the next chapter done soon, hehehe.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

_Even if the earth spins the opposite way_   
_And I can’t sleep at night_   
_The prettiest curve on you_   
_Is the smile on your lips_

_This is your song baby_   
_I wrote it for you baby_   
_I hope it reaches your ears_   
_I pray_

_Let your emotions explode_   
_Light my fuse_   
_Just stay by my side, hey_   
_Close your eyes and come into my arms_

_Oh yeh oh yeh oh yeh_   
_Come to me_   
_(Firework)_   
_Don’t worry_   
_(Firework)_

_Baby you are my_   
_(Firework)_

**Firework - BOBBY**

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Osaka was cold, but then again it seemed like the whole continent was frozen. It was one of the coldest winters Junhoe had ever felt in Japan, one that was causing heaps of snow everywhere. The number of accidents caused by the snow, as he saw on TV earlier this morning, was making him reasonably worried for the fans coming to the concert today. He could only pray everything would go as planned, and everyone would go home later happy and, most of all, safe.

It wasn't very motivational to think about these things just before the concert began. He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts and quickly finished his business. Afterward, he zipped up his trousers, and then headed toward the sink to wash his hands. He glanced toward the mirror and checked his own reflection, seeing his unkempt hair and briefly wondering if the hair stylist nuna was looking for him at the moment. She had been working on Yunhyeong's hair when he left the dressing room a couple of minutes ago.

Just as he was about to turn toward the exit, the door opened. When he saw who appeared from behind it, his heart stopped momentarily, and then began beating twice as fast as usual as the person walked into the bathroom.

"Found ya," Jiwon said, approaching him, smiling as bright as the summer sun.

Junhoe could see that the rapper had got his hair and makeup entirely done. The lighting of the room made his hair appeared more pastel than it actually was. The velvety red shirt he was wearing looked good on him despite it being seemingly 6 sizes too big for him, but maybe it was on purpose, just like how most of his chest was exposed because he hadn't bothered buttoning up all the way to the top.

"Um, yeah, hi," Junhoe stuttered. He averted his gaze upward to Jiwon's face, pretending like he hadn't been staring at the older's chest, and that the sight hadn't made him blush from head to toe.

"The hairstylist nuna needs to do your hair," Jiwon said, confirming Junhoe's thought earlier. "She was searching everywhere for you and looking like she was gonna combust, so I offered to go find you."

"I thought she knew I went to the toilet," Junhoe grinned, wiping his wet hands on his trousers. The wardrobe team wouldn't be happy with that, but he couldn't see any tissue or hand dryer machine or anything else in the vicinity to dry his hands.

Jiwon was still smiling at him, making him want to squirm on the spot. It didn't help that the situation suddenly brought his memory back to one afternoon, to a happening that had also taken place in a bathroom. A bathroom that was located inside the company's studio building, to be specific. He was reminded of how, back then, he and Jiwon had been standing face to face as well, almost like this, but the atmosphere between them had been completely different.

He remembered how awful, useless and confused he had been feeling that day, worsened by the 'silent treatment' he had received from Hanbin in the studio. Driven by that helplessness gnawing at him from the inside, he had tried to runaway, to find a short solace in the bathroom, only to be found by Jiwon and have his entire defenses torn down in an instant. He could still envision in his head the emotions building up inside of him, slowly but surely becoming more and more unbearable, listening to Jiwon telling him that, "I'm going to just stay out of your way," and, "We can just pretend it never happened." At that point, he should have known what his restlessness meant, should have been able to decode why he had felt so desperate wishing Jiwon would just stop talking. Now, he knew how terribly dense he had been. How incredibly dumb.

There was no stopping it once the memory came flooding in, and now he was brought back to the very next moment, the moment when he had been driven by that desperateness and had grasped Jiwon and kissed him. A minute after their lips had touched, he had stopped, anxiety and fear taking a grip of him, but then Jiwon had pushed him against the wall and kissed him on the lips, on the...

"Junhoe."

Jiwon's voice dragged him right back to the present. He was stuttering and blushing even harder than before. "Y-yeah?"

"You okay?" Jiwon asked, a curious glint in his eyes.

"Yeah! I'm fine, just, um, kind of hungry," Junhoe gulped. "Sorry, what were you saying, Hyung?"

Jiwon laughed his signature squeaky laugh. "I think we've still got a couple of instant cup ramen back in the dressing room, but I was asking you about tonight's Best Friend couple dance."

"Oh, what about it, Hyung?" Junhoe asked. "Do you want to be my partner again for it?"

"Well, yes," Jiwon said, grinning. "Hanbin will probably be upset to have to wear the onesies again, but I thought, you know, it's the finale and I just wanted to do it with you. Um, I mean, that is if you're okay with it."

"Of course I'm okay with it," Junhoe nodded. As if he could ever say no to Jiwon.

"But, um, let's not do the choreo," Jiwon continued, shrugging with both his hands in his pockets. "Let's just, I don't know, walk around the stage, greet the fans, play around, do stupid dances. What do you say?"

Junhoe looked at Jiwon, contemplating, imagining how unusual and weird it would be for the two of them to perform the song while walking around the stage. It wasn't a park or the quiet path along the Han riverside where there would scarcely be any people. This was a concert stage where there would be thousands of eyes watching them, and not to mention the cameras recording their every action.

The thought should be making him scared or concerned, at least. But instead, it was somehow making his heart thump fast and hard in his chest. A smile stretched on his lips, whether it was because of nervousness or something else, he wasn't sure.

"Sounds fun, hyung," he answered Jiwon's question. "Let's do it."

A minute later, the two of them were making their way back to the dressing room. Jiwon was prattling something about Yunhyeong and Chanwoo fighting because Yunhyeong had eaten the last bit of kimchi from their lunch set, with Chanwoo saying that it was selfish of Yunhyeong to eat it, and Yunhyeong arguing that Chanwoo wouldn't be able to eat it anyway because it was spicy. Junhoe was barely paying attention to the topic, simply listening to Jiwon for Jiwon's voice. His mind was full of what they had been talking about in the bathroom.

As they entered the dressing room, Junhoe saw Jiwon giving him a wink and a cheesy smile before the older walked ahead. Junhoe bit his lip, trying to contain his own smile and his frantically beating heart before it could jump right out of his chest and leave him like a fish on land, gasping for breath.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

As soon as the concert started, Junhoe was caught up in the excitement. All he could think of was how this was their last night in Osaka, their last concert this year in Japan, and with that in mind, he should make the best of it. And making the best of it he did, singing and dancing and interacting with the audience, and forgetting anything else except the lyrics and the choreography of the songs. That was probably why, when Best Friend was approaching next on the setlist, the realization of it gave him a start. He saw Hanbin giving the cue for them to start the Best Friend-picking ment, and as the seven of them gathered at the main stage, Junhoe's heart quickly began to pick up pace.

Junhoe stood in the middle of the stage, clutching his mic and biting his lip almost unconsciously. There hadn't been any discussion backstage about who would partner up with who, except for his little conversation in the bathroom with Jiwon. While he watched Jinhwan and Yunhyeong approach each other, he briefly worried if Hanbin, having not been informed that Jiwon and he had agreed to be partners again tonight, would pick him or Jiwon. If that happened, it would totally ruin their plan.

Before Hanbin said anything, though, Junhoe heard Jiwon speaking to the microphone.

"Since it's the final concert," the rapper said in Japanese. "I want to do it with Junhoe."

The roar of the fans' cheering was the first that Junhoe noticed. He couldn't be bothered to think about what it meant, though, because at that moment he felt a hand on his shoulder, and when he turned to look, Jiwon was there by his side, so bright and gorgeous all that Junhoe wanted to do was to stop and stare. But of course he couldn't do that. The intro of the song was already playing, so Junhoe, dazed and in awe, followed Jiwon's steps and the two of them started on their journey around the stage.

Junhoe couldn't describe how he felt. There was excitement, that's for sure, adrenaline coursing through his body. There was also doubt, clouding the space above his head, especially when he looked down at the ocean of heads and hands and red lights waving to and fro. Were those eyes staring at them, judging them?

But all he could see were smiling faces, and all he could hear were shrill voices calling their names. No one was booing them. No one was looking at them with disapprove in their faces.

This was wonderful, he thought. And it felt, quite embarrassingly, like they were on a walk down the aisle after a wedding ceremony. Not that Junhoe had ever been married. But in the weddings that he had attended, he had seen couples do that, and their friends and families would clap their hands and congratulate them.

The idea of him and Jiwon getting married that was suddenly crowding the space in his head made Junhoe nearly trip on air and fall face first on the stage. Fortunately, he didn't. He managed to keep his cool, somehow, singing when he had to sing, waving his hand occasionally toward the crowd below.

They walked and walked as the song carried on, and they reached the far end of the stage when Junhoe saw that the rest of the group had gathered in the main stage and were dancing there. Donghyuk was the first to stop when he noticed them, followed by Hanbin who was dressed in the yellow chick costume. And then all five of them stopped dancing and were looking at him and Jiwon, and it was just like the wedding that Junhoe had just been thinking a moment ago, which ultimately made him blush so hard.

He was still blushing when someone gave him a cue to do something, and he was so lost he had no idea what he was supposed to do. He did what Jiwon was doing, which was spinning around and ending it with a weird pose kneeling on the floor. It made Jiwon laugh for some reason, but Junhoe didn't have time to ponder why he laughed because the song was almost coming to an end and all of them were supposed to be doing the part together. Junhoe and Jiwon sprinted through the rest of their way back toward the main stage, and posed just in time as the song's outro played out.

Junhoe, kneeling, grinning and panting for breath, couldn't help but feel like he had just done something incredibly brave and it made him so, so happy.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

It was approximately 10:15 p.m. when Junhoe heard his phone beep. He was lounging in bed in his hotel room, watching a weird Japanese game show on TV while struggling to comprehend the jokes. The sound of his phone dragged his attention away from the TV, and when he checked the notification, the game show and everything else were instantly forgotten.

'Asleep yet?' spelled the message coming from, who else, Jiwon. 'I know it's kind of late, but would you like to have dinner with me? If you would, please come to my room.'

The sentence was ended with a grinning emoticon which could very well be an accurate representation of Jiwon's face when he typed the message. Junhoe sat up, smiling to himself as he reread every word.

Dinner? Junhoe looked at the digital numbers on the screen of his phone and wondered if Jiwon was being serious. It was much too late for dinner. Moreover, they had stopped for dinner at a restaurant on their way back to the hotel from the concert venue earlier. He didn't know about Jiwon, but he felt like he had eaten enough to make himself feel a little sick.

But then he recalled their conversation back in the dorm in Seoul, when Jiwon had proposed a dinner date to him. Was this the said dinner?

Only one way to find out, Junhoe thought and, as he stood up from bed a little hurriedly, stumbling on the carpet, he felt himself smiling excitedly. He put on a pair of hotel slippers before he exited his room, quickly reached Jiwon's door, and knocked on it.

His heartbeat came to an abrupt stop, like someone had stepped hard on the brakes of a speeding car, when the door opened and revealed Jiwon. Messy hair, clean fresh face, gigantic smile and a pair of crescent eyes. Junhoe froze, mesmerized by the sight.

"Hi, hello, come on in," Jiwon greeted cheerfully, opening the door wider and stepped aside to let Junhoe in. Junhoe tried not to look too obvious when he breathes in Jiwon's soapy, florally scent as he passed him by.

As soon as he entered the room, Junhoe gasped in surprise.

"Tada!" Jiwon said, chuckling at his side. "I know we ate already so I thought I'd just buy some snacks, but um, I sort of went a little overboard."

Wide eyed, Junhoe approached the table near the window that was stacked with all sorts of snacks and drinks. Chips, breads, cup ramen, chocolate boxes. And then, of course, sausage bars. A ton of those, maybe.

Junhoe laughed. "When did you even buy these?"

"I just got back from the convenience store when I texted you," Jiwon answered. He gestured toward the pair of chairs by the table. "Sit down. I let the curtains wide open because the view is really pretty."

Junhoe sat on one of the chairs while Jiwon sat on the opposite, both of them facing the table with the mountain of food mounting between them. The large window was to his right, and just like Jiwon said, the view was wonderful. Seen above was the dark skies spattered with glimmering stars and specks of clouds, and below, the night lights beaming from the buildings and streets surrounding the hotel. It looked peaceful and, considering the current situation, quite romantic.

Junhoe looked away from the window and turned toward the table. He felt nervous, like his heart was beating crazily in his throat and every fiber of his body was reacting uncontrollably. He didn't think he had ever felt like this before, nerve-racked and excited at the same time. He wondered if this was how people on a dinner date would feel like.

To distract himself, he grabbed a sausage bar and tore open its bright red plastic wrapper. The writings were all in Japanese so he had no idea what flavor it was. He bit it thoughtlessly, and was surprised to find it didn't taste like how he thought it would be.

"Huh...?"

"What's wrong?"

Junhoe looked up from the sausage bar toward Jiwon. "Um, nothing," he said sheepishly. "This tastes sweet. I kind of expected it to be spicy because the wrapper is red, so I'm sort of surprised."

Jiwon laughed, and grabbed Junhoe's hand that was holding the sausage bar. Junhoe, too shocked to say a word, could only stare as Jiwon pulled his hand and the sausage to his mouth. His eyes could barely blink, following the sausage that went in between Jiwon's plump, red lips. His mind went southward so fast he didn't have time to stop it from starting to think about the things Jiwon could do with that mouth of his.

"Oh, it is sweet!" Jiwon said with a mouthful of sausage, already letting go of Junhoe's hand. He had a tiny speck of oil on the corner of his mouth that Junhoe couldn't stop staring at. "That's weird. It's like being served pizza only to know the topping is strawberry jam instead of tomato sauce. But, I mean, it's not bad!"

Junhoe was silently thankful that the conversation swerved quickly to the topic of whether pizza topped with strawberry jam was an acceptable human food or not. While he was half-heartedly listening to Jiwon arguing that a pizza was a pizza no matter what the topping was, except maybe seafood because that would be an insult to the pizza itself, he tried calming himself down. He hadn't been counting, not exactly, but it probably had been a week, maybe less, since he and Jiwon had shared an intimate moment. He didn't think that he had been feeling sexually deprived... or had he? He wasn't entirely sure, but at the moment, being in this room and in this so-called dinner date with Jiwon, he felt like something inside of him was growing bigger and bigger, and now it seemed like it was ready to burst.

Yes, maybe he was a little bit deprived.

It was a funny idea, Junhoe thought. He had never thought that sexual depravity was an actual thing, back then before he and Jiwon had gotten together. He felt like he had been easily distracted from the horniness if it ever came, and even when it had become too much to ignore, he had had no complaints having to resolve it with his own hands.

His life had been simple and (almost) innocent, and then Jiwon came and turned it upside down.

He had to admit, Jiwon brought with him an entire world of intimacy that Junhoe had never experienced before, and it made him feel like he was learning everything from the very beginning. He couldn't help thinking about how Jiwon would smile at him and kiss him, how the older would know exactly where to touch him that would definitely make his toes curl and his breath caught up in his throat, and...

"Junhoe!"

Junhoe coughed, nearly choking on a chunk of sausage in his throat. He grabbed the closest bottle of soda and drank nearly half of the content and burped before putting the bottle back on the table.

"Sorry," he mumbled, knowing he must be blushing.

Jiwon looked worried. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Um, you were saying, Hyung...?"

"I was saying, today's audience was pretty awesome," Jiwon said. "Were you spacing out? Am I making you bored?"

Junhoe quickly shook his head. "No, no! I'm just kind of sleepy, I guess? I think ate too much tonight... But you're right, Hyung, the audience was great. I had a lot of fun on stage, including the, um, Best Friend stage."

Jiwon responded with a smile. "I had fun, too, Junhoe. I almost felt sorry when I saw Hanbin putting on the costume on stage, to be honest."

Junhoe smiled as well, mind inevitably going back to the glimpse of thought he had had on stage, how it had felt like he was walking down the aisle with his spouse. He bit his lip before he could say anything, not sure if he could handle where that topic would lead them to.

Thankfully, somehow, their conversation took a turn toward the topic of their upcoming trip to America. Junhoe listened to Jiwon sharing his plan to stay a couple of extra days in the US so he could visit his brother's place. He missed Raon, he said, and then proceeded to talk about how amazing it was that babies were actually human beings with tiny hands and tiny feet. Junhoe, in turn, told Jiwon that he was curious about the crowd in America, especially in the festival that they were scheduled to perform at. He wondered how different the fans' reaction would be compared to in Korea or in Japan.

The following silence that came afterward was not something Junhoe was uncomfortable with. In fact, he enjoyed it. He glanced at the window to his right, at the night lights twinkling beyond, enjoying the view.

Tomorrow they would be flying back home to Seoul. Junhoe couldn't help but wonder if Jiwon had concocted another plan, another scenario in this 'pretend I'm wooing you' script, and would be carrying it out once they were back in the dorm.

"Junhoe," Jiwon called him, breaking the silence. "I don't know if I've asked you this, but, um, what is your ideal date like? Have you ever gone on a date that was really memorable for you?"

Junhoe was stunned for a second, not expecting to be asked about something like that.

"Um, I can't say I have," he spoke after a moment. "I mean, I haven't been in a lot of relationships. I told you that, didn't I? I haven't gone on a lot of dates either, not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. I was either too young and too dumb, or too scared to be caught. So, no, I don't think I've ever gone on a very memorable date."

Jiwon was just about to open his mouth when Junhoe recalled something.

"Oh, wait, there was that one time," he said. "Well, you might not call it a date, but it's probably the most memorable one for me. It was during an MT and everyone was staying in school during the entire weekend. On the last night, I and, um, my girlfriend at that time sneaked out from the classes where we were supposed to sleep. We went to the soccer field and spent some time just sitting there, drinking from the juice boxes we stole from the teacher's food stash. We were talking about random things. She had a brother who was annoying her so much and she was telling me about all the little pranks he did to her. And we were just staring up at the sky. It was so clear and we could see the stars..."

Junhoe trailed off, realizing Jiwon had been silent. He looked ahead and found Jiwon staring at him with an astonished look on his face. He blushed.

"Um, it's dumb, I know. We didn't even do anything, we were just kids and..."

"No, no, no! That sounds wonderful!" Jiwon waved his hand. "Thank you for sharing that story with me."

Junhoe didn't know why Jiwon was thanking him, but he shrugged and smiled. A second later, he felt the terrible urge to yawn, and he yawned before he could stop himself. He heard Jiwon chuckle even before he closed his mouth.

"Why are you so cute," said the rapper, grinning and scrunching his nose while Junhoe covered his mouth belatedly with his hand. "Sorry, I didn't realize how late it is. Come on, we should get some sleep."

"Huh...?"

Jiwon laughed again. "We do have an early flight tomorrow morning, you can't be forgetting about that?"

"Um, but these...?" Junhoe looked at the table that was still littered with a ton of food.

"Don't worry, I'll clean these up later," Jiwon shook his head, smiling. He rose from his seat, then, and Junhoe followed almost dazedly.

There was an uncomfortable pang inside his chest that he inevitably felt as he slowly walked toward the door. It wasn't that the dinner hadn't been fun, although he barely ate anything except that one sausage bar that apparently tasted sweet rather than spicy. When he glanced to the side and saw Jiwon, he understood it was simply because he wanted to spend more time with him.

The two of them reached the door faster than Junhoe wanted, and he was standing there with the discomfort still gnawing at him somewhere deep inside. He felt like he should say something, but the urge was warring against his embarrassment.

"Good night, Junhoe," Jiwon greeted as he moved to open the door.

"Wait, Hyung, I..." Junhoe paused, biting his lip. And then he thought, screw it. "Hyung, I don't know if this is allowed, I mean, in our current setting and everything. But, um, can I... can I ask for... a hug...?"

Junhoe felt like running away by the time he finished talking, his courage diminishing to absolute zero. He couldn't look up to see Jiwon's face, not even to check on his reaction. However, before he could say another word or follow his instinct to escape the room, he felt himself being grabbed by the arms and then pulled into a warm, tight hug. His heart exploded in an instant, leaving him breathless.

It was unbelievable how this seemingly simple hug could make him feel so exhilarated. He grabbed onto Jiwon's back gently, hoping he wasn't being too obvious when he pressed his nose against Jiwon's neck and inhaled his scent.

He missed this so, so much.

He smiled when Jiwon pulled back and said good night once again, and he was still smiling when he returned to his room and lied down on his bed. He hadn't brushed his teeth, hadn't even taken off his hotel slippers, but he didn't care. His insides felt like a million fireworks being ignited all at once, creating a myriad of bright explosions and sparks of heat. His mind was full of the memories of the 'dinner' he had just had with Jiwon, the things they had talked about and, most importantly, the hug.

He thought, right then and there, hugging a pillow tight against his chest, 'I think I'm falling in love all over again.'

**▪︎ TO BE CONTINUED ▪︎**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me taking an entire month to update hHSHADHASH I'm sorry, I hope you forgive me. Anyways. On a dimmer note (what), I've put my other ongoing fic on hiatus because I just don't think I can finish that, at least not at the moment. I'm sorry, again. This fic though still has one more chapter, and I hope you're still excited for that. Hehehe.  
> I hope I can get some motivation in the future to write other stories about iKON, but in the mean time, please enjoy this! (Btw, I didn't proofread this so please forgive me if you find any typos or awkward parts) 😘

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_Whatever weight it is_   
_Two is better than one_   
_Even if my hands are rough_   
_Hold it as tight as you can_   
_I’ll be your shoulder_   
_You can come into my arms_   
_My precious person_   
  
_You make me happy_   
_I wish you would be happy because of me too_   
_If only I can make you smile_   
_I’m satisfied with my life_   
  
**Lean On Me - BOBBY**

▪︎▪︎▪︎

  
As it turned out, Junhoe didn't get the chance to spend time with Jiwon when they all returned to their dorm. The day after they arrived, Jiwon had to go home to his parents' place. He needed to grab some things his parents wanted him to bring to US since he was visiting his brother and his family, which, Junhoe suspected, consisted of a ton of toys and clothes for Raon.  
  
Just before Jiwon left, he stood on the entrance and told his dorm mates that he might have to spend a couple of days at his parents'. It really depended on how many things his mom and dad wanted him to bring, and how long it would take them to pack everything to fit in one suitcase.  
  
He said to Jinhwan and Donghyuk, "I might have to split some of my stuff with you guys just in case my parents go too crazy."  
  
And then, to Junhoe, "Don't miss me too much, Pumpkin Pie. I swear I'll text you as often as I can."  
  
That unnecessarily cheesy remark, added with an obnoxious wink thrown at his direction, made both Jinhwan and Donghyuk turn to give Junhoe weird looks.  
  
"You should hurry, Hyung," he said, pretending he wasn't blushing from head to toe. "Taewoong-hyung is waiting downstairs."  
  
"Meany," Jiwon pouted, hobbling on one foot since he was struggling to put his shoe on the other foot. And once he succeeded to put on both shoes without falling and planting his face flat on the floor, he slung his backpack on his shoulder.  
  
Junhoe leaned against the wall, folding his arms in front of his chest. He was trying to ignore the throbbing feeling in his chest that he hated to admit might be uneasiness, a hint of concern that he would actually be missing Jiwon for as long as he was away. It was funny, in a way, because he couldn't remember ever being this needy toward Jiwon, at least not out of something so trivial. Did it have something to do with the way that Jiwon was making him feel lately, especially with this little scenario they had going on between them? Maybe, Junhoe wasn't sure. All he knew was that he had been thinking about Jiwon more often than usual, and it was driving him crazy.  
  
In the mean time, Jiwon had reached the door, but hadn't stepped outside. Junhoe watched him fumbling with his backpack, probably checking for anything he forgot. And then, unexpectedly, he turned toward him.  
  
"I'll be going now, Cheese Cake," he said, grinning. "See you in a few."  
  
The rapper threw a flying kiss at Junhoe's direction before he finally walked away. As soon as Jiwon disappeared from sight, Junhoe scrunched his eyes closed. He got the most terrible feeling inside of him that his two other dorm mates saw what had just happened. He didn't even have to look at them to know that they were staring at him.  
  
"Pumpkin Pie???" said Donghyuk incredulously a couple of seconds later.  
  
"Cheese Cake???" squeaked Jinhwan afterward.  
  
Junhoe could feel himself turning red, starting from his face down to his neck, as if someone doused him with a bucket of hot water. He sighed, hoping he could successfully evade his two dorm mates if he pretended he bad no idea what they were talking about. However, his flimsy little hope evaporated the second he turned around.  
  
Jinhwan was standing stiffly with his hands on his waist, a hard look in his eyes. Right next to him was Donghyuk who, despite not glaring at him as hard as Jinhwan was, had a brightly curious look on his face. Junhoe wasn't sure which one he was more afraid of.  
  
"What the hell???" Jinhwan retorted. His brows rose up so high on his forehead that they nearly disappeared between his bangs.  
  
"It's just..." Junhoe opened his mouth, but no words came to mind. So he closed his mouth again.  
  
"I knew there was something weird going on when I caught you two watching TV. Crayon Shinchan of all things?"  
  
"Oh, no, that wasn't..."  
  
"Since when did the two of you start acting so lovey-dovey in public? Whose idea is it?"  
  
"Well, it's not..."  
  
"Why is Bobby-hyung calling you with food names?" Donghyuk cut off. "Is this some kind of fetish I've only just heard of? Or is it some type of kinky foreplay the two of you like to do?"  
  
"Kim Donghyuk!!! Where did you learn about that? You need to wash that brain of yours, young man!" Jinhwan shouted.  
  
Donghyuk looked at Jinhwan incredulously. "What? I was just curious! And why are you talking like my mother?"  
  
Junhoe thought of escaping while Jinhwan was distracted with scolding Donghyuk, but his intention was cut short when the eldest swiftly turned to him, as if hearing his very thoughts. Junhoe froze while Jinhwan grabbed his hand. He followed silently as he was being dragged into the living room and then practically thrown onto the sofa.  
  
Nobody should ever doubt Jinhwan's strength, Junhoe thought, especially when he's fueled with anger. He sat crossed-legged, leaning back against the cushions. It was all he could do to ignore his mounting discomfort as he watched Jinhwan and Donghyuk flocking him from both sides.  
  
"So," Jinhwan began, his tone stern. "Tell us what exactly is..."  
  
Jinhwan couldn't finish his sentence because, at that moment, Junhoe's phone beeped. Pretending he didn't notice the way Jinhwan was gasping indignantly, Junhoe pulled out his phone from his pocket and checked the message he had just received.  
  
It was from Jiwon, and the text said, quite appropriately, "Sorry to have to leave you behind with Jinhwan and Donghyuk. I hope they're not giving you a hard time." Jiwon ended it with a winking smiling emoji, an expression which Junhoe could easily imagine was truly plastered all over the actual person's face at the moment.  
  
"Is that him?"  
  
Junhoe heard Donghyuk question him, but his attention was still on his phone as he typed a reply. "I'm about to be slaughtered. Good bye. Also, you should have been the one explaining about the food names to them, not me!" And then, to respond to the sentimentality, he added a frowning emoji at the end.  
  
Jiwon's reply was quick. "I'm so sorry (a crying emoji). The food names are cute, though, right? (a grinning emoji) But please survive, whatever those two are going to do to you! I promise I'll make it up to you once I come back. (another winking smiling emoji followed by a kissy-face emoji)"  
  
He took a deep breath when he emerged from the screen of his phone, knowing that there was no way out of this. It irked him a bit to think that all of this was Jiwon's idea, not his, so it was a little bit unfair that he was left to do all the explaining.  
  
And he honestly didn't have a clue about the food names! How was he supposed to talk about that?  
  
When he finally set eyes on Donghyuk's curious face and Jinhwan's probably-infuriated one, he decided that maybe he could tell them what he knew. The worst thing that could happen was that the two of them would find him stupid at the end of it, and would make fun of him for the rest of his life.  
  
He heaved another breath, braced himself, and then started talking.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

  
There was a whole barrage of messages waiting for him on his phone when he got back to his room after taking a shower, all of them from Jiwon, the last of them had just beeped in a second ago. Junhoe sat down on his bed, phone in one hand, his towel in the other. He leaned against the wall on the head of his bed, ignoring the cold seeping from the surface of the wall to his bare skin. He began reading the messages, one by one, trying not to cringe seeing the horrifying amount of emojis stuffed in each and every one of them.  
  
"I've just had dinner! It's so weird to be not eating junk food. Have you had dinner yet? Btw, how was it? What did Jinhwan and Donghyuk do to you?"  
  
"I just saw what my mom wanted me to bring to the US. I'm screwed. I just hope we can pack all of these fast enough so I can get back soon."  
  
"Oh right! I think I still had some leftover pizza in the fridge. Can you make sure Donghyuk doesn't come and steal it?"  
  
"Junhoe-yaaaa, where are yoooou? Why are you not answering? You're still alive, aren't you?"  
  
"Junhoeeeeeee...?"  
  
"OH MY GOD. DID JINHWAN AND DONGHYUK KILL YOU AND THROW YOUR BODY IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE."  
  
"Junhoe, look, a cat! I think it likes me." (Attached was a photo of a grey cat which seemed to be taken outside of his house)  
  
"Junhoe, if you don't reply within the next three minutes, I'm going to tell Hanbin what you did to his favorite hoodie!"  
  
"Junhoe, no, I'm just kidding, I didn't tell Hanbin anything. But I'm really worried, please tell me you're not really dead."  
  
And finally he reached the last message, which only contained an entire paragraph of crying emojis.  
  
Junhoe huffed a small laugh, amused by the thought of Jiwon panicking because he hadn't answered. He tapped on the reply column and began typing his response.  
  
"Sorry, the user you are reaching for is currently unavailable. Please try again in a few moments."  
  
He laughed as he sent the text, and then began typing again.  
  
"I'm alive, Hyung, but just barely. I'm afraid you're going to come home to my funeral. Please take care of my guitars when I'm gone."  
  
It didn't even take three seconds for Jiwon to reply, and his words weren't exactly easy to read, as if he had smashtyped the whole sentence in a panicked state.  
  
"JUNHOE OMG IM SO WPRRIWD ARE YOI OK BABY PLS DONT SAY THAT IM GINNS CRY, YOU CSN TAKE CSRE OF YOUR OWN GIITSRS PLS TELL MW WHAT JINAN AND DONGHYYK DID TO YOI"  
  
Junhoe cackled, and quickly shut his mouth. He didn't want Jinhwan or Donghyuk to overhear him and think he had finally lost his mind.  
  
"I'm ok," he typed, biting his lower lip while grinning. "I told them about your scenario. Well, what I knew of it, anyway. Jinhwan said it's a dumb idea. He didn't get why we would want to do that after, I quote, 'All the shit that we've all been through!' I lost count of how many times he called you an idiot, and me a bigger idiot for agreeing to the whole plan."  
  
He sent the message, and then typed again.  
  
"Donghyuk, on the other hand, was more understanding. He said it might be good for us, considering that we never had the experience of getting close to each other like any other couples. But after a moment, he said, and these are his exact words, okay," he paused, taking a deep breath, and then continued, "'How are you going to pretend you haven't been screwing around like rabbits all around the apartment almost every single day?'"  
  
At that, he had to stop and look away from his phone because he was suddenly feeling a bit hot despite his lack of clothing.  
  
It was hard not to feel embarrassed, knowing that Donghyuk has probably overheard things that Junhoe would have rather kept private. But before he had the chance to drown in his embarrassment and wish for the earth under his butt to open and swallow him whole, his phone vibrated again in his hands.  
  
What appeared was a sleuth of nonsense. Junhoe suspected Jiwon was bashing the screen of his phone with his forehead, sending a jumble of incomprehensible letters mixed with emojis. A relatable reaction, Junhoe thought. He remembered himself spluttering and choking like an idiot when he had been listening to Donghyuk earlier today. He had wanted to deny everything but found that he couldn't, too shocked to even say a word at the time.  
  
Another notification beeped on his phone, this time it was a message containing some more comprehensible words.  
  
"Remind me to sock Donghyuk in the face when I get home. Or lock him up in the closet and not let him out, unless we have a schedule to attend," said Jiwon in the message.  
  
And then, "Were we that loud? Or did we get careless and do it somewhere that Donghyuk might have caught us in the act?"  
  
To that, Junhoe could barely respond, so all he typed was a short, "SHUT UP!"  
  
Jiwon replied with a bunch of laughing emojis, which easily made Junhoe think of his dumb but cute, wrinkly and toothy grin. Before he could wonder why it felt like ages since he last saw that grin (although in reality it hadn't even been more than a few hours since Jiwon left), another message followed. It said, "But thank goodness Jinhwan-hyung's response wasn't as bad as I thought. I was honestly worried he would start threatening us to get the hell out of the dorm if I dared wooing you in front of him again. I think he's just jealous because he has never wooed or being wooed by anyone."  
  
"Please don't tell Jinhwan-hyung I said that, he'll roast me alive if he finds out," added Jiwon a moment later, seemingly as an aftethought.  
  
Hours later, Junhoe was lying face down on the bed. The chill air had made him grab a T-shirt and a pair of jersey pants and put them on. There was a glass of whisky on the table beside his bed, its content half gone already. In his hands was his phone, its screen emanating bright light in his otherwise dim room.  
  
He was staring, reading while smiling at the latest message that had just arrived on his phone.  
  
"The progress so far is looking good," said Jiwon in the message. "Mom and I have miraculously managed to cram almost 90% of all the things I need to bring into my suitcase. There are only the smaller stuff left, which I might be able to carry in my backpack. I don't know how I'm supposed to successfully pass through customs, though. They might detain me under the suspicion of smuggling baby clothes and toys to the US."  
  
"Well, we're going to have to perform without you then," Junhoe joked in his response. "Poor Hanbin, he'll have to memorize your rap parts as well."  
  
He laughed at the amount of crying emojis Jiwon added in his very quick reply. And suddenly, he realized he had never actually spent time talking to Jiwon via text messages like this, not even after they got together. Junhoe had always thought that direct conversation was the best method of conversation. But now that he had spent the last hour or two on his phone, texting with Jiwon, he found that it was actually fun. It felt like a refreshing intermezzo out of his daily routine.  
  
"I'm in bed," Junhoe typed, answering Jiwon's question about what he was doing. "I'm not sleepy yet but I don't know what else I should be doing. I don't feel like writing or reading or anything."  
  
"You're not drinking? That's so unheard of," Jiwon replied, possibly laughing his ass off in his parents' place. "Do you want me to call you? Or maybe video call, just in case you miss looking at this pretty face."  
  
Junhoe scoffed and for a second he wished Jiwon was here, just so he could show the older just how ridiculous the notion was in his opinion. But then he paused and asked himself, was it really that ridiculous? He remembered the way Jiwon had grinned at him just before he took off earlier today, how carefree and dumb and exasperatingly cute his face had looked. And then he admitted, half begrudgingly, that he would like to see that dumb face again before he went to sleep.  
  
"Sure, why not," he finally replied, and then burrowed a little deeper into his bed, smiling quietly, waiting for the screen of his phone to show Jiwon's incoming video call.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

  
Junhoe had just reached the entrance of the apartment complex, sweaty and a little bit out of breath, when his phone rang and vibrated in his pocket. He stopped by the playground, unoccupied and quite creepy at night, and pulled out his phone. The name 'Kimbab-hyung' was stark and blindingly bright in his otherwise dark surrounding.  
  
He looked around and decided to take a seat on one of the swings, right under the park lamp. The chains of the swing creaked on top of his head. He hoped he wasn't going to break it.  
  
"Yeah, hello, Hyung," he answered the phone. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing," the rapper responded from the other end. "I just wanted to hear your voice. But why do you sound like you're out of breath?"  
  
"I just got back from jogging," Junhoe said. The swings creaked again as he began swinging slowly. "How's the packing doing, Hyung? Are you coming home soon?"  
  
"It's, uh, going pretty well, actually. There's just a few more things left. But, uh, have you had dinner yet?"  
  
"No, not yet, but I'm planning to once I get home," Junhoe answered, wondering quietly if he wasn't just imagining the hurried tone in Jiwon's voice, not to mention the sudden change of topic. He quickly chalked it off as his own tendency to overthink, and yes, maybe he was also a little bit tired after the 7 kilometres of running.  
  
"Oh, yeah, you should eat soon," Jiwon cleared his throat on the phone, the noise sounded oddly close to Junhoe's ear. "Is everybody else home in the dorm?"  
  
Junhoe thought of a couple of hours ago when he had just left the apartment. "No, I think Donghyuk left to visit his family, I don't know if he's coming back tonight. But I think Jinhwan-hyung is home at the moment," he said. "Oh, and Taewoong-hyung said he will come by later to help me with my laundry."  
  
"I see. Hey, are you still outside? I think I can hear cars whizzing by."  
  
Strange, Junhoe thought. He could say the same about what he heard through the phone speaker from Jiwon's end. Was Jiwon outside?  
  
"Yeah, I'm still outside, at the uh, kids playground." He purposely skipped the detail about himself currently sitting on a swing.  
  
"You might catch a cold," Jiwon replied. "It's kind of windy. And it's dark, too. Aren't you scared? I know you do jiujitsu, but it's still dangerous to be out there all by yourself."  
  
"Well, not really, I'm under a lamp so it's not that dark."  
  
Despite what he said, Junhoe took a look around him, hating how the darkness around him seemed to inch closer to him. He knew it was just the effect of what Jiwon had said, but maybe getting back into the dorm sooner would be better than later. And then, as if on cue, the wind blew stronger, brushing against his nape, sending shivers to every part of his body.  
  
"Wait," Junhoe spoke quickly, frowning. "How did you know..."  
  
Before he could finish his question, though, he heard noises from somewhere nearby. It sounded almost like feet stepping on the pavement. He felt his heart jump to his throat and start beating faster, the urge to run home as fast as he could growing bigger and bigger with each frightening second that passed by.  
  
"Junhoe? Are you okay?"  
  
Junhoe looked around once more. The tall trees in the park cast ominous shadows around him, some shaped almost human-like and swaying to-and-fro eerily every time the wind picked up pace. The noises he had heard seemed to grow louder and closer, mixed with the sound of leaves rustling and the chains of the swings creaking.  
  
"Uh, y-yeah, I'm okay, I think I should uh, go back to the dorm now," he stuttered. "It is getting a little bit cold, and maybe Taewoong-hyung is already waiting--"  
  
Junhoe screamed when he felt his eyesight suddenly went dark. His eyes were being covered with what felt like hands, cold, cold hands, and he could feel someone's body pressing against his back.  
  
The first thing that popped up in his panicked mind was, "I'm getting kidnapped and the rest of the group is going to have to perform in the US without me!" And then, "I dropped my phone, I can't believe I have to buy a new one again!" Quite belatedly afterward, he was trying to remember all the jiujitsu moves that his trainer had taught him, to synchronize his muscle memory with his survival instincts. But just before he could move his hands, he heard his kidnapper speak.  
  
"Told you, it's dangerous to be out here all by yourself."  
  
Junhoe very nearly fainted. He felt like he was having a cardiac arrest, his heart beating extra fast just to come to a very abrupt stop.  
  
And then, once his brain could fully recognize the voice of his captor, he shouted, "Jiwon, what the hell!"  
  
He turned around once the hands covering his eyes pulled away and, sure enough, Jiwon was standing right behind him, an obnoxiously wide grin stretching on his face. He walked around Junhoe until he was standing in front of him, and then he bent down to pick up the phone Junhoe had dropped earlier.  
  
"I don't think the screen is cracked," he said, still grinning. "Sorry for surprising you."  
  
Junhoe spluttered, still unable to comprehend why Jiwon was right here in front of him all of a sudden. Shouldn't he be in his parents' house, packing all the stuff he was supposed to bring to the US? He would have said something if he had been coming home, wouldn't he? And wasn't he just on the phone, calling him from Yeonnamdong?  
  
"You look like you're seeing a ghost," Jiwon laughed, but quickly closed his mouth. "You're not really angry, are you? I'm sorry, Junhoe."  
  
Jiwon seemed honestly worried that he had made Junhoe mad. Which was not a baseless concern, considering that Junhoe actually did feel annoyed after what Jiwon had done. But one look at those wide, puppy eyes and plump, parted lips, Junhoe was simply done for. All he could think of, staring up at Jiwon's face, was how much he actually missed him.  
  
"W-what are you doing here?" Junhoe asked, instead. His heart was beating fast for all the different reasons now. "What about the stuff you needed to pack and everything?"  
  
Jiwon shrugged. "We finished packing this morning. I went home a few hours ago. Jinhwan-hyung told me you went out for a run, so I got down here."  
  
"Were you waiting for me?"  
  
"Well," Jiwon smiled, not exactly answering but Junhoe knew he had been waiting. Here, outside, probably for a couple of hours. In the cold.  
  
Junhoe blushed so hard, his red face might be visible even in the darkness.  
  
"What is it? Are you still angry?" Jiwon asked after what must have minutes of Junhoe staring at him.  
  
Junhoe blushed even harder. He looked down to his lap. The chains creaked again on top of him. "No, I'm not angry. I was just shocked, that's all."  
  
"Juneya."  
  
Junhoe looked up again in surprise, not because of the soft way Jiwon called him, but because of Jiwon's ice cold hand that was touching his cheek. How long exactly had he been waiting out here for Junhoe to arrive?  
  
"Look," Jiwon said, facing up. Junhoe followed his gesture and looked up to the night skies above their heads. "The skies are clear tonight. We got lucky."  
  
Just like Jiwon said, the skies really were clear. There were hardly any clouds visible, except the thin, ghost-like greyish wisps that occasionally passed by. The moon was on its way to waning phase, gleaming almost unassumingly. But what took Junhoe's breath away were the stars.  
  
It was like staring into a gigantic stretch of black velvet cloth that was strewn with tiny diamonds, sparkling incessantly. It reminded him somehow of his sister's dress that she liked to wear to church when they were kids.  
  
"Beautiful," he murmured, eyes lost in the wonders of God's work of art right above his head. His mind was full of proses, lines after lines of poetry that he should write down quickly or else he would forget. He could write it on his phone...  
  
Oh, right, his phone.  
  
"Jiwon, my--" His words died away in his throat when he caught the look on Jiwon's face. Despite the hoodie Jiwon was wearing that was partially covering his face, Junhoe could still see those eyes and how intently they were staring at him. It almost seemed as if they were gazing through his skin and flesh, and right at his soul. And the way Jiwon was biting his lower lip between his teeth, it was making every single fiber in his body quiver.  
  
"Hey, Junhoe," Jiwon spoke quietly, just a little louder than a whisper. His hand was back on Junhoe's cheek, and he couldn't even bring himself to protest despite how cold Jiwon's palm was against his skin.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I know I said I wanted to start over with you," Jiwon said. "And I said I wanted to know what it would feel like to woo you, take you out on a date and all that. I had all these plans in my head, and I thought I was going to do well. But, it's just that, oh, man, you're going to think of me as a loser because it's only been a couple of days, but, it just felt like I-I missed you so much, and I--"  
  
Junhoe hadn't heard the last of Jiwon's babble, but his nerves were already buzzing with anticipation.  
  
"Junhoe," Jiwon mumbled, looking like a lost kid. "How do--am I supposed to--should I confess my feelings to you? I mean, that's what people usually do, right? So, um. Okay, maybe I should--"  
  
Junhoe couldn't help but gasp when Jiwon suddenly kneeled in front of him and pulled down the hoodie that had been covering his head. His frizzy hair puffed out, spilling down his forehead, curls that would have looked light brown under a proper lighting. All Junhoe wanted to do was run his fingers through it slowly, and sneaked a little kiss on his forehead.  
  
"K-Koo Junhoe," Jiwon stuttered. Junhoe could even see his lips trembling nervously. "You know I like you. I've liked you for a long time, well, maybe not for the first few months you moved into the dorm, but--"  
  
Junhoe huffed, just about to laugh, but he stopped abruptly when he felt Jiwon's hands grabbing his own tightly. He was shaking a bit, Junhoe realized, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the cold or something else entirely.  
  
"Juneya, please be my boyfriend? I mean, again?" Jiwon asked.  
  
Junhoe knew he was prepared, knew he had an inkling that this moment would come sooner than later in their silly little set up. He hadn't thought he would be surprised, but yet, here he was, heart bursting into a supernova inside his chest. Everything was going haywire in his body, his mind first and foremost, so it was kind of a miracle when he managed to huff a shaky, "Yes, Hyung. I'll be your boyfriend again."  
  
When Jiwon swooped forward for a kiss, Junhoe's brain panicked for a second, thinking that there should be security cameras somewhere nearby. There might also be people, fellow residents of the apartment, passing by. But as those lips pressed against his, all those worries vaporized into thin air. So what if people saw? So what if the two of them got caught? Nothing else really mattered now that he could feel this small piece of heaven again.  
  
A low whine left Junhoe's throat unchecked when Jiwon pulled back. He felt embarrassed, quite belatedly, but the feeling was quickly replaced with a long-awaited, very familiar heat pooling in the bottom of his stomach when he saw Jiwon's red, moist lips.  
  
"I think, uh, we should, you know," Jiwon started, wobbling a little as he rose to his feet. Junhoe was glad to know that he wasn't the only one feeling flustered after that kiss.  
  
"Go upstairs?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, that, yes. Upstairs."  
  
The chains of the swing creaked again as Junhoe stood up. He took one last glance upward to the star-studded skies, inhaled shakily, and made his way toward the apartment building, Jiwon in tow.

**▪︎ TO BE CONTINUED ▪︎**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry for being so slow in updating (again). But we're here at the final chapter! Thank goodness. After this, I might be taking a break from writing ff, at least here on AO3. The reason is, well, things are a bit hectic in RL now, especially with the pandemic happening. There is just less time to plan and write a long-chaptered ff. Speaking of which, please stay safe, everyone! Wear a mask, wash your hands! Anyway, I'll still be around in twitter if you guys miss me, ehehe ;D

**▪︎▪︎▪︎**

_Come here lil mama, ride my body like a surf board  
_ _You and I, only the two of us, all night long, yeah yeah  
_

_~_

_We still want it, yeah  
Breathe and another round, yeah  
Don't pay attention to other people's stares,   
Just do as your heart says.  
I'm sorry, I'm surfing with you all day  
I only want you_

**SUrF - BOBBY (feat. DK)**

**▪︎▪︎▪︎**

Junhoe liked Taewoong. He wasn't just a highly responsible and reliable manager, but also a nice person in general. He had a great sense of humor, someone Junhoe actually enjoyed talking to. He was also very patient, at least compared to the other managers, which was proven by his willingness to accompany Junhoe on many of his cross-city jogging sessions. Admittedly, it was almost 90% due to Junhoe's incessant whining and begging, and maybe the rest 10% was because Taewoong was worried someone would kidnap Junhoe if he went all alone. Whatever the reason was, he had yet seen Taewoong refuse so far, so he remained candidate number one as his jogging partner.  
  
Which was why Junhoe felt a little bad for lying right in front of him and sending him home earlier than planned.  
  
"You're really sure you're going to be okay?" Taewoong asked for the 100th time, worry and discomfort coloring his face. He was standing in the foyer, already putting on his shoes but hadn't yet made his move toward the door.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I took some meds already, they should work soon," he said, scrunching his nose for extra effect. "It won't be a nice experience for anyone in the dorm once it starts, you know, coming out."  
  
Taewoong blanched, seemingly imagining the scenario Junhoe had just prompted in his mind. Or, he could be thinking about the last time Junhoe had nearly made the toilet explode (which, Junhoe would argue, had been totally unexpected because he didn't remember eating anything bad that day. But then he hadn't exactly checked the expiry date on each and every one of the 6 instant ramyeon he had had that day...).  
  
"Okay, then, although I still think we should go to the doctor," Taewoong nodded half-heartedly. He finally walked toward the door and opened it. "Call me if it gets worse. And, Bobby, Junhoe's laundry is the one in the--"  
  
"Yellow bag, yes, I got it, Hyung."  
  
Junhoe looked over his shoulder to where Jiwon was standing a few feet behind him. The rapper looked almost completely at ease, with his hands on his hips and a small smile on his face. Junhoe recalled a few moments ago when Jiwon had volunteered, seemingly out of the blue (but honestly completely planned), to help him with his laundry and suitcase.  
  
"Mine's done so I can help out," he had said. "The sooner everyone's done with packing, the better, right?"  
  
At first, Taewoong had given him the odd look. Junhoe found that to be an understandable reaction, since Jiwon wasn't exactly a role model in taking care of the contents of his closet nor his suitcase either. In fact, Jiwon would probably come second as iKON's Messiest Member, right after Junhoe.  
  
(Although, Junhoe would like to argue that he wasn't exactly messy. He just didn't think of cleaning up his room as a priority. As long as he knew where to find his stuff, he was fine with however his room looked like.)  
  
It had taken a little bit more convincing, which included Junhoe groaning and clutching his stomach and Jiwon insisting he was an expert in sorting out the laundry, until Taewoong finally gave up. Junhoe had had to hold himself from cheering out loud the moment Taewoong said, "Okay, then, I'll just go check up on the kids upstairs,", pretending like his stomach was acting up again.  
  
Junhoe knew he was being silly for not being able to contain his feelings like this. But the problem was, he felt like there were gigantic butterflies, or maybe even dinosaurs, bouncing all over the interior of his stomach, probably messing up his organs and everything inside. It was almost like going back to the early days of their relationship where there were still jitters, tiny earth quakes that took place inside his body whenever Jiwon touched him or even was somewhere close by.  
  
But then, he thought, in a way, they did come all the way back to the beginning of everything. He felt like he had properly gone through the entire process of getting close to Jiwon, starting from the introduction, the approaching each other, the little dates, the sweet and maybe a tiny bit cliche confession in the park. Every cheesy little thing Jiwon had said or done for him had somehow created an extra layer of affection-adoration-maybe, quite likely even love between them.  
  
Despite it all being nothing more than a scheme, despite him having the biggest doubt ever when it had just started, Junhoe was grateful that he had agreed to go through with it. It made him much, much more sure of his feelings for Jiwon.  
  
And also, at the moment, as soon as the front door was closed, it made him realize just how unbearable his pent-up desire had become, and how impossible it was to not react so embarrassingly when Jiwon pushed him against the nearest vertical wall, which quite unfortunately happened to be the shoe rack, without any warning.  
  
"Hyung, wait," Junhoe whispered, worried because, miraculously, he could still think about where they currently were and how inappropriate it would be to do whatever they were about to do right here, in the foyer of all places. Not to mention the horrible chance that they could be bumping against the rack and cause an avalanche of shoes.  
  
But then Jiwon's mouth found the crook between his neck and his shoulder, sucked hard, and every single thing Junhoe had wanted to say vanished from his mind. He struggled just to hold on to the rack, its contents rattling dangerously and quite noisily, as Jiwon ground his crotch against his buttocks. He gasped, nails scratching against the nearest surface. He could barely register the way his own hips moved, grinding back against Jiwon almost hungrily.  
  
There was a hand inside his t-shirt, slightly shaky but mostly eager, rubbing its way across his stomach, going as far as the band of his track pants. He couldn't stop himself from groaning, rolling his hips again, wordlessly asking that hand to cut the crap and just get on with it. It had been days, for God's sake, and he couldn't handle one more second of teasing.  
  
"Hyung, please--"  
  
"GOD DAMN IT, YOU TWO! IN THE FUCKING FOYER?!!?! PACK UP YOUR STUFF AND LEAVE THIS DORM!!!"

▪︎▪︎▪︎

"I think it's a good thing that Jinhwan caught us before we got too far. I mean, can you imagine doing it in the foyer? Should be mighty uncomfortable, plus there was the risk of getting bludgeoned by shoes. Right? That would be painful..."  
  
"Oh my God, won't you shut up," Junhoe groaned and then gasped, toes curling when Jiwon's thumb flicked across one of his nipples. The front of his t-shirt was bunched under his chin and it was getting annoying, the same as these comments that Jiwon kept saying. He really didn't need the extra reminder about how Jinhwan had caught them, not exactly in the very act, but close enough to be horribly embarrassing for Junhoe. The next time he saw eye to eye with the oldest, he might really be kicked out of the dorm.  
  
Jiwon giggled, moving from where he had been sitting down there between Junhoe's legs until he was leaning on top of him. Despite feeling annoyed, Junhoe couldn't stop his heart from speeding up when Jiwon dipped down and pecked him on the corner of his mouth. He turned his face almost instinctively, so that his lips could catch those plump ones that belonged to his lover and kissed him properly.  
  
"That was really sexy, though, the way you moved your hips," Jiwon murmured a few moments later, lips still attached to Junhoe's. "I could hardly control myself when you did that."  
  
Junhoe squeaked when he felt a hand groping and squeezing his butt cheeks, but he couldn't utter a word to protest because Jiwon was kissing him again, sweeter and deeper this time. It was all he could do to kiss back, overwhelmed and positively turned on by the insistent way Jiwon was taking control.  
  
His mind was thinking about how much he missed this, the intimacy, as Jiwon pressed him down onto the bed. He clutched onto Jiwon's back, clawing against the fabric of his tanktop, searching for skin.  
  
A moan of protest left his mouth unchecked the moment Jiwon pulled back and away from him. He barely managed to stop another, more embarrassing sound, when the older man pulled his tanktop up and off of his body, revealing smooth skin and defined muscles. He gulped, mentally trying to calm himself. It was funny how the sight never failed to make him feel hot and bothered, no matter how often he had seen Jiwon naked.  
  
As if amused by the way Junhoe was helplessly staring at him, Jiwon grinned. He sat back, suddenly stopping whatever he was doing, pretty much to Junhoe's disappointment.  
  
"You know, I actually had plans about this too," he spoke instead, posture and expression lazy as if he wasn't talking about something so ambiguous, sitting on Junhoe's crotch while he was at it. "I wanted it to feel like our very first time, but with a whole new experience. Like, we could maybe rent a hotel room with a nice view of the sea. I would make a reservation for us in some fancy restaurant, and after dinner we would take a walk by the beach. And then I would surprise you with a bottle of champagne, or whisky, whichever you would like, and roses scattered all over the bed. And then I would tell you how much I love you, and then we'll make love until morning comes."  
  
Junhoe stared at the man in front of him for a minute or two, bewildered. And then he said, "Hyung, I think that's way too much netflix romance for you."  
  
Despite what he said, he was honestly impressed to know how much Jiwon had thought about his plans and how detailed everything seemed to be. And, though he would be caught dead before admitting it, he was also deeply flattered. How could he not? This was the first time he had ever had anyone planning anything romantic for him. The first time he had ever known anyone could love him as much as Jiwon did and, to be quite honest, it felt very, very nice.  
  
He looked up when he heard Jiwon laugh, that signature laughter of his that sounded like he was gasping and shrieking at the same time. Jiwon seemed amused although Junhoe had just shot down his idea in one sentence, but he suspected Jiwon could easily see through him, know what he was truthfully feeling.  
  
"Yeah, it's too much hassle, isn't it?" Jiwon said after he stopped laughing. "I probably wouldn't have lasted five minutes into our reserved dinner without cackling like an idiot."  
  
"That's probably accurate, but," Junhoe sat up as Jiwon pulled him gently by the arm. He smiled. "I would have liked it. Well, I would have been acting like I was grossed out by all the cheesiness, but I would have loved every single moment of it."  
  
Jiwon laughed again, but it his laughter didn't last long this time because Junhoe caught the side of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. It started out soft and gentle, and gradually became hotter and wetter, with Jiwon delving his tongue deep inside Junhoe's mouth.  
  
They pulled apart for a moment, Junhoe panting and sucking in a deep breath, just so Jiwon could pull off his t-shirt and threw it away. Right afterward, their lips reattached, now kissing with a whole new urgency. Junhoe dragged his hands down the sides of Jiwon's torso, finding purchase at the waistband of Jiwon's boxer shorts. He pulled.  
  
Jiwon grabbed his shoulder, hot breaths blowing between their faces as he lifted his hips, allowing him to pull the article of clothing all the way down. Gloriously naked, he lowered himself back down. The slight movement he did made his half hard cock bumping softly against Junhoe's stomach and, in that very instant, every single nerve strand in Junhoe's body flare in excitement.  
  
"Do you want me to...?" Jiwon asked, voice quivering.  
  
He looked at Jiwon, at the melting embers in those eyes and at the plump lower lip bitten between crooked teeth, undeniably tempted by the offer. But then he shook his head and said, "No. You said you wanted this to feel like our very first time. I imagine that, me being absolutely inexperienced back then, you would be the one to teach me the way of things."  
  
Their eyes locked on each other for a second or two, Junhoe wasn't sure, too preoccupied with his heart that was beating dangerously fast. And then Jiwon surged forward, kissing him passionately. Junhoe closed his eyes, following Jiwon's lead to lie back down on the bed. It almost felt like his brain was crumbling slowly inside his head and logic didn't quite seem important anymore, as he drowned into this coccoon of warmth between the bed and Jiwon's body.  
  
Jiwon didn't stay for too long on his lips, but before he could protest, his lover's lips (and tongue) moved to his cheek, his jaw, and then his neck. Alternating between soft kisses and kitten licks, Jiwon was slowly but surely making him lose his mind. His gasps turned into moans, and moans into pleas the moment Jiwon captured his nipples one by one into his mouth and between his fingers.  
  
Jiwon left one last lick on his left nipple before he rose up and grinned. "This is called foreplay," he said cheekily, forefinger trailing down Junhoe's chest to stomach. It lingered in his bellybutton, dipping for one second before going even lower, ever so slowly. "People do this to get the mood up. Get it hard before the main action, so to say."  
  
After saying that, the older had the nerve to giggle again. Junhoe, slightly annoyed and quite frankly impatient, tried to get up, but before he could move an inch, Jiwon slid down his legs and pulled his pants along with him. It was almost comical how quickly his cock sprang to life, only it wasn't, because it was actually embarrassing how hard he had become already.  
  
Junhoe knew he was blushing from head to toe, and was even more so when Jiwon smirked and licked his lips. He could guess what was about to happen next, was sort of expecting it to happen judging by their current position. But when Jiwon did lean down and take almost the entire length of his cock into his mouth, it still came as a surprise. A big surprise, in fact, one that got him yelping aloud and his muscles spasming.  
  
"And this," Jiwon murmured in between licks. "Is called a blowjob. It requires one to pleasure the other using their mouth, like this exactly," he paused to give a little suck, which made Junhoe let out a little scream. Jiwon grinned as a response to that, and then randomly commented, "You taste like sweat, by the way, might have been better if you showered after the run."  
  
Junhoe wanted to tell the older to shut up, that he didn't see the point of taking a shower, especially when Jiwon was the one who had practically ambushed him the minute they entered the dorm. He wanted to say a couple of other things as well, but all that came out of his mouth was a loud, breathless moan. Had he been in his right mind, he would have stopped himself, would have thought twice about making a sound that could have been heard by their other dorm mates. He would have recalled, not even half an hour ago, how Jinhwan had almost made them homeless because he had caught them doing the inappropriate in an inapproriate place. But at the moment, he was too far gone to care. Jiwon's mouth around his dick felt so warm, so wet, and so, so good, that nothing else mattered.  
  
Cliche as it may seem, it felt like his nerves were set on fire, especially down there where Jiwon was doing his magic. The way he knew where to suck hard or lick softly, the way his hand touched where his mouth couldn't reach. Every single movement was driving Junhoe closer and closer to the brink, and he was desperately searching for the brakes, but there was none. And, too soon, he exploded.  
  
"Oh!" Junhoe heard Jiwon squeak in surprise, but he didn't, couldn't open his eyes to see the kind of mess he had made. His head was still buzzing, the rest of his body alight with blinding white heat. His breath was stuttering in and out of him, as if even his lungs were struggling to function after his orgasm.  
  
When he did open his eyes, he almost closed them right back again, because the sight of Jiwon licking his cum from his thumb was a bit too much for him to handle.  
  
"You okay?" the older asked with almost innocent look on his face, although everything that he had been doing so far was far from innocent.  
  
Junhoe managed a small nod. Both his mind and his tongue felt like they had turned to cotton, making him uncharacteristically speechless. He watched silently as Jiwon moved to the space between his legs. He shivered when he felt Jiwon's hands running up his thighs, slowly, knowingly, stopping at his groin.  
  
"H-hyung..." he croaked, squirming, overwhelmed by the second spike of arousal that came so soon even before the initial one completely died away.  
  
"I'm here, Juneya, I'm right here," Jiwon answered. "Hang in there a bit for me, okay?"  
  
Saying that, Jiwon leaned down and got on all fours before he crawled his way up Junhoe's body. Jiwon then laid down beside him, pushing him a bit so that he was lying on his side. Junhoe frowned, confused. This was kind of like spooning, something they sometimes did when they were in the mood for a little cuddle before sleep. But Jiwon couldn't be sleepy yet, could he?  
  
When Jiwon's rock hard cock pressed against his lower back, a revelation popped up in Junhoe's head. "O-oh..." he breathed, anticipation building up inside of him.  
  
"Sorry, but my shoulder kind of hurts after all the packing I had to do," Jiwon mumbled an apology, soft lips kissing Junhoe's nape. "I don't think I can hold your legs up the way you usually like it."  
  
"You don't hear me complain, do you?" Junhoe huffed, pressing his ass back against Jiwon's hard on to emphasize his approval. This reminded him a lot of what had just happened in the foyer, but thankfully they were now in a place where they could take a few more steps forward without having to worry someone might catch them in the act.  
  
Jiwon gasped, and then laughed aloud. "My sassy baby," he said, to which Junhoe responded with another crotch-grinding.  
  
Neither of them seemed to remember that they were supposed to be acting like it was their first time together, not now when it had become too urgent. Junhoe felt as if even the air around them was crackling with heat the moment he heard that familiar pop of the lube cap being opened, anticipation building up inside of him so fast it was dizzying.  
  
Soon, he felt the tip of the Jiwon's finger touching his entrance. It slipped past his rim with such familiarity, Jiwon having already done this many times before. His breath hitched, the finger curling and moving inside of him, and later when another finger followed, he had become a complete mess.  
  
"Hyung, I c-can't..." he moaned, hips bucking back and forth uncontrollably. Jiwon's fingers were pressing on all the right places, edging him so fast and so hard he felt almost overstimulated.  
  
Probably just realizing the situation Junhoe was in, Jiwon carefully pulled out his fingers. "Okay, Baby, hang on, let me just..." he mumbled.  
  
Junhoe could hear a little shuffling before he felt the hot, blunt tip of Jiwon's cock pressing against his entrance. He took a shaky breath, hand reaching for Jiwon's that was on his hip, and braced himself.  
  
"Oh my God," Jiwon gasped at the same time as Junhoe cried, "Jiwon!"  
  
Jiwon slid into him slowly, almost excruciatingly so, and stopped when he was burried to the hilt. This deep, it almost felt like they had fused into one being, moving with one mind and one breath, aiming for the same climax. It was as if their center of gravity had shifted toward that one point of contact.  
  
Junhoe he missed this, he really did. It was funny how a few days apart had made him this depraved of Jiwon's touch.  
  
He was the first to make a move, a forward-and-backward slide against the sheet that caused Jiwon's cock to slid away a few inches and then back into him. The two of them moaned in unison. Jiwon's hand on his hip clenched tighter, fingers digging deeper into his flesh. That was a little painful and would surely leave bruises, but Junhoe wanted even more of it.  
  
The thought burst like a bubble losing its surface tension when Jiwon moved his hips, doing one slow thrust followed with another, before he groaned, "I can't take it slow, I'm so sorry..."  
  
While Junhoe briefly wondered why the hell Jiwon would want to take this slow when it was obvious they were both equally desperate, Jiwon began moving quickly. He was thrusting shallowly, rutting against Junhoe with inconsistent speed.  
  
When Junhoe felt the older's mouth latching on his shoulder, followed by his teeth, he hissed, hips snapping to meet Jiwon's thrust. The pain-streaked pleasure racked through his whole body, nearly making him come again right then and there. He clutched on the pillow under his head, feeling the need to hold on as tightly as he could. Everything happening at the moment was making him feel like the earth he was lying on kept rumbling and shaking, causing him to lose balance. If he closed his eyes, he could almost see himself tumbling and rolling and bouncing against the ground.  
  
He shifted his right leg up and placed his feet behind Jiwon's thigh, getting enough leverage that he could freely move his hips. And then he began thrusting himself on Jiwon's cock, hitting his prostate harder than before.  
  
"Oh, God, mmmh, there, Hyung..."  
  
He was getting close, again, feeling like his whole body was burning from within. It became the only thing that he could focus on, the only thing that mattered. Everything else around him seemed to fade into a big blur, the world outside of their little bubble of pleasure, even the noises they were making.  
  
And then Jiwon was coming. He gave one hard, almost brutal thrust, and he came. Junhoe could feel the heat bursting inside of him, filling him thoroughly. In that moment, probably unconsciously due to his orgasm, Jiwon squeezed his cock.  
  
And Junhoe was coming, too. Waves and waves of it hitting him hard, tiny at first and quickly becoming larger, making him feel like his body was expanding like a universe of its own to an unknown limit. His sight dissolved into bright white, and he went supernova.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Junhoe got out of the bathroom, fresh after shower, and noticed from the clock hanging on the wall in the living room that it was a little after 2 a.m. He tightened the towel around his waist and took a turn to the kitchen, his stomach growling, reminding him that earlier tonight he had been thinking about getting something to eat, right before he got jumped by Jiwon in the park. There should be some cup ramyeon left in the cupboard.  
  
The kitchen was dark just as expected at this time of the night, but what he didn't expect was to see something, or rather someone clattering around in there. He managed not to scream, and after a few seconds of adjusting his sight in the dark, he recognized the mysterious figure.  
  
"Oh, God, Hyung, what the hell!" he huffed. "You nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here in the dark?"  
  
Just as Junhoe clicked on the lights, the person in the kitchen looked over his shoulder and smiled.  
  
"Hey there," Jiwon said. "I didn't intend to be here for a while, just to go grab a glass of water. But then I recalled you saying that you haven't had dinner."  
  
Junhoe approached the man standing in front of the stove, realizing what he was doing. His heart instantly swelled at the sight of ramyeon and the soup bubbling in the pot.  
  
"Hyung, you read my mind," he said and, driven by some unexplainable spontaneous urge, gave the older man a backhug. It was probably the scent of the ramyeon wafting from the pot that was making him act like this.  
  
Jiwon chuckled, sending vibrations right against Junhoe's skin since there was practically zero distance between them, except for Jiwon's tanktop. Junhoe inched even closer, drawn like a moth to fire.  
  
"If only I had known a pot of ramyeon could make you this clingy," the rapper said, adding a couple of eggs into the pot.  
  
He stirred around the eggs so that he didn't break the yolks. It was something he had told Junhoe once, the specific way he liked to cook ramyeon, although in Junhoe's honest opinion it didn't taste all that different.  
  
Funny how they had spent a lot of their time together accompanied by ramyeon, Junhoe thought. In fact, ramyeon was the one thing that had played a part in getting them together. He remembered that night when they had sat in front of the TV, sharing a pot of ramyeon between them. He remembered their first kiss, as well. It seemed kind of fated that they were having ramyeon too tonight just when they were 'back together'.  
  
When it seemed like the noodles were done, Jiwon leaned over to turn off the stove. The movement had his buttocks (his wonderful, full, very soft buttocks, Junhoe might add) bumping against Junhoe's crotch. Despite that maybe Jiwon didn't mean to do anything suggestive, Junhoe's dick considered that he did. It grew hard so quickly it shocked even Junhoe himself. And quite conveniently, his towel got unwrapped from his waist and fell to the floor.  
  
Jiwon turned around right at that moment, his gaze falling right onto Junhoe's instant hard on.  
  
"Junhoe, what, but, the ramyeon...?" the older stuttered.  
  
For one split second, there were two thoughts warring inside Junhoe's head. The first was brought forth by the inconsistent growling in his stomach, telling him that, yes, he needed to eat, and the noodles would get soggy and gross if they didn't eat those soon. The second was obviously driven by his hormones and his dick, and all of them were raging at the moment, to the point where he knew it would become quite painful if he didn't find some relief immediately.  
  
Before his mind could figure out what to do, his body made that decision for him, and he soon found himself pressing himself up against Jiwon, mouth kissing him desperately. Hands made their way under Jiwon's clothes, touching all the places that made Jiwon gasp and groan. The location might be a bit of a problem, but maybe they could make it work. Junhoe could flip Jiwon over the counter, he was sure Jiwon wouldn't mind, and...  
  
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???!? EVEN IN THE KITCHEN!?!??!?! THAT'S IT, I AM GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR GOD DAMN--"  
  
It was not an exaggeration when Junhoe thought he had never run as fast as he did, supporting a hard-on nonetheless, making a bee-line around one angry, ready-to-explode mathyung, before he went in to his room and took cover.

**▪︎ THE END ▪︎**


End file.
